All That's Missing Are Some Piranha.

"Spring break...spring break..." So goes the Mantra of James Franco's "Alien", a white trash ghetto thug. A mantra that begins as the mark of the morons who inhabit the beach communities at this most sacred of College times, but becomes a slogan of perversion and depravity as the film goes on.

Spring Breakers marks a coming out party of sorts for indie director Harmony Korine to the mainstream. Up until now it was only the scumbags who whispered his name when discussing such beloved filth as Gummo. For the most part he was largely known as the guy who wrote Kids. Make no mistake, even though Spring Breakers is his most mainstream work, it is still a Harmony Korine sleazesterpiece.

The first act is dedicated to the four girls. Anyone who has browsed the internet in any capacity have undoubtedly seen the pics of them in bikinis that have been plastered on absolutely everything. Young girls showing skin is like catnip to the internet masses, who typically lust after jailbait like Emma Watson flowering before their eyes in the Harry Potter flicks.

This section is dedicated to emphasizing just how outrageously important spring break is to these young ladies. They don't have much character development beyond Selena Gomez (who looks uncomfortably young) being the "good girl" of the group. She's such a good girl in fact, that she attends a Christian youth group led by...Jeff Jarrett?! What the fuck is Jeff Jarrett doing in this movie? This is now the second time recently I was surprised by a pro wrestler in a movie. The first was when Kevin Nash turned out to be one of the dancers in Magic Mike. Yeah I watched Magic Mike and you know what? It was fucking funny. And that was the second time recently seeing Matthew McConaughey almost totally naked after Killer Joe.

For these girls Spring Break is a near-religious experience. It is so important that they violently rob a nearby diner in order to cough up the cash necessary. In doing so they get their first taste of what's to come.

Early in the movie is also where it is made very clear that audiences everywhere will be treated to more jiggling buttcheeks than ever seen before in a motion picture. There is so much nudity it's almost a shame that it wasn't filmed in 3D.

Here are some of them

When they meet Alien is when Spring Breakers really kicks into gear. With his cornrows, Macho Man Randy Savage sunglasses, patchy facial hair and grills, James Franco epitomizes the shady dirtbag. Alien becomes a mentor of sorts to the girls as they sink further and further into his world. My favorite scene, and what might be the centerpiece of the film, is when Franco performs a Britney Spears song on a piano that segues into a slow motion montage of criminal acts. I don't usually throws words like "brilliant" around when describing a movie, but it's the only word that comes to mind.

Spring Breakers is the kind of weirdo movie that doesn't come to theaters too often. Fans of filth will want to mark their calenders in order to make room for a viewing. Simply put, Spring Breakers is a magical experience.