I've just been mind fudged.

On a recent night while trolling the cesspool that is the "Free Movies" section of Comcast On Demand, I stumbled upon a low-budget gem from 1982 that I still can't believe is real. The only explanation for how She could have been conceived was that Israeli director Avi Nesher watched a bunch of genre movies, wanted to make one of his own containing elements of every single film he enjoyed regardless of total inexperience, and somehow got the financing for it. It's like an Alejandro Jodorowsky movie if Alejandro Jodorowsky had no idea how to make a movie.

The "plot" has something to do with Sandahl Bergman (who you may remember from the commentary for Conan the Barbarian where John Milius constantly refers to her as a valkyrie while ejaculating in his pants) as the titular She, who joins up with Tom and Dick to rescue one of their sisters in a post apocalyptic world. What follows is a series of bizarre non sequiturs containing such events as:

--Nazis in athletic equipment.

--A robotic Frankenstein erupting out of a box.

--A telekinetic Communist.

--The heroes awakening inside of plastic bags after being captured by a giant bearded man in a tutu who is working for a guy dressed as a 18th century Frenchman.

--A werewolf toga party.

--Crossing a bridge guarded by a man who is a hybrid of Popeye and Davy Crockett who can regenerate multiple versions of himself whenever a limb is severed off.

And that is only some of the scenes. Neil Marshall tried going for a weird mash-up like this with Doomsday a couple of years back, but that was nowhere near the accidental genius of She. After the successful Kickstarter for a high definition transfer of Manos: The Hands of Fate, I'm thinking someone needs to start one up for this much more entertaining curiosity.